Someone for whom human interaction and physical connect matters a lot and contributes to keeping sane and happy; this lock down is a very tough time. Holding the hand of your beloved, a silent and warm long hug, a peck on the cheeks, or a passionate romantic kiss, the healing powers of a loving human touch is beyond description.
As much as you require, as tough as it may seem, staying away from those you love, is the true test of your love during these times. Being at the receiving end of this myself, I am here to share some ways in which we can see this through.
Trust - being the foundation of all relationships, is that for this test too. Keep your trust in your relationship and your beloved strong and let it flourish during this distance. Know that they have always loved you, and will continue to, that no one can replace you for each other, and that they will take care of themselves for you.
Communication - though always one of the most critical aspects, it is much more important during these times. But, I am not talking about long chats, keeping each other informed, video chats etc. here. Do that if you can for sure. But the communication I am talking about is more skin deep. The ability to listen to the silence and to know what exactly the no response to a certain message may mean. The ability to crisply communicate during that 2-minute phone call that you so much yearned for. The ability to wait for a response for days, not with anxiety but with patience trust and positive thoughts. That type of communication is the need of the hour or months if I may say.
Consideration – when we are in pain, the human tendency is to think of, feel about and understand only our pain. It makes us blind to the pain that others go through. Remember this separation, this distance, this longing, is not yours alone, it is for both involved, equally. Be considerate towards this fact and do not make it all about your pain alone.
Gratitude – tough times are the best times to reflect upon the good times. Remind yourself about the lovely times of togetherness, think of those times so deeply and intently, that you should actually be able to feel the warmth. Write down the things that you are grateful for. Having someone you can miss; in itself is something to be grateful for. Many people do not even have this.
Positivity – The energy, with which we think of others, is the same energy we send to them. It is natural to get all negative thoughts when you are away and unable to get in touch, yet would you want to send negativity to your loved ones, especially when you know you can send positivity. So be mindful of your thoughts.
Acceptance – do not keep questioning the reality. Acceptance is the first step to happiness. Accept this distance and let it sink in. Acceptance does not mean you need to put a fake brave face and suppress your emotion. Acceptance means to acknowledge your emotion, cry if you need to, know what is making you cry, or feel anxious or negative, fix the root cause and then move ahead to managing that emotion.
Cope – Find your own coping mechanisms. Do not let the brain trick you and rule you; tame it and train it. Do things that keep you virtually connected to your loved ones. Listening to their favorite music, or watching that movie you both so laughed together at, browsing through your vacation memories – photos, or anything else you hold dear, wearing their clothes to feel their smell, making a memory journal or photo book… option are many. Instead of sitting and shedding those precious tears, get to work.
I know, this is not an exhaustive list of what you can and cannot do. I also know that this wouldn’t change your life, and make all your worries and anxieties vanish the moment you finish reading it. Yet, I know for sure that it will put things in perspective and give you an opportunity to adjust and re-adjust to your situation and your emotions during these times.
Love cannot be locked down. Just like flowing water, when hits an obstruction, doesn’t stop, but finds its way around it, Love too will flourish if you let it find another way.
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